By: Jon and Vicki Heinecke

It was the coldest weekend of the 2020-2021 winter so far. Temperatures hovered near zero, and it was overcast with a gentle snowfall. It seems the perfect weather for … a Marriage Retreat!

Actually, this past weekend was a wonderfully reflective time for each couple to grow closer, both to each other and to other couples in attendance. The length of marriage among the attendees ranged from five to 46 years. Some were married once, while some were on a second marriage.

“Everyone who attended shared experiences that uplifted and helped each other learn and grow.”

We’ve attended each of the past three annual Holy Cross Marriage Retreats. They’ve been held at multiple sites around the state, and each one has had its own theme or focus.

This year’s focus was on how to improve our communication, and we all had an opportunity to communicate … a lot! There was shared time in our sessions, as well as plenty of time on our own.

We have been married now for nearly 38 years. Many of our friends think we have a rock-solid marriage; we should have issues such as communication and mutual understanding all figured out by now.

“So why did we attend a Marriage Retreat?”

One of our takeaways at the 2020 Retreat was when Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, said,

“Marriages either get better or worse. They never stand still.”

Marriages grow and change. It’s important to take time to reconnect, otherwise we might begin to drift away from each other. Communication is a vital part of the process of growing together.

Strong marriages are like a three-cord strand (Ecclesiastes 4:12), where our mutual relationship with God holds us together for life. God gives us the gift of marriage to marvel at the wonder of becoming one flesh (Genesis 2:23-25). He fills us, nourishes us, and strengthens us in a way that would be impossible on our own. We are better and more blessed in all we do for his glory.